


A Second First Time

by spacestationwedding



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Best Friends, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Gay Steve Rogers, Hand Jobs, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 22:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacestationwedding/pseuds/spacestationwedding
Summary: One of Steve’s shoulders brushed against his cheek, still so cold. Bucky exhaled onto it warmly, amusing himself when Steve shivered in response.“Quit it,” Steve warned. Bucky leaned in closer, tickling his skin with his lips and breathed out again. He smirked when Steve squirmed against him. His fingertips dug into Steve’s ribs, pulling him closer.One of Steve’s hands gripped his forearm tightly, but didn’t shove his grip off. If anything, he was clinging to the hold around him.“Warmin’ up, Stevie?” He teased. The smaller man hummed out an affirmative noise.“I ain’t one ‘a your dames, Buck. Can’t tease me like that.”





	A Second First Time

There was a chill in the air. Bucky gathered the skinny, stubborn, sleeping man into his arms and carried him from the couch to the bedroom. He checked the furnace after laying him carefully on his cot. It was maxed out, as much as they could afford to have. Winter was settling in early this year. 

Begrudgingly, he went to their shared closet and grabbed the thin quilt from the floor and beat the dust out of it in the other room. Bucky was trying to keep Steve from getting sick again. It was a constant chore, and a damn near impossible one at that, but he didn’t mind. 

He went back inside, determination set into his face. The blanket wrapped snugly around Steve, doubled over. It would be good enough to keep him warm. 

Before going to bed, he decided to indulge in a cigarette that he’d stolen from his father’s case. He could buy his own, but these were the nice ones that he couldn’t even hope to afford. A luxury so far out of his reach while he still had Steve to care for. He grabbed his coat and his lighter and went out. 

It was colder than he’d thought. The smoke blew thick and slow from his lips, permeating the air lazily. Brooklyn was swathed in navy blue in the night air, still and empty. It was nice, to get away from his responsibilities and just sit for a while with his thoughts. The cig was warm, filling his lungs with pungent heat while the rest of him shivered despite his coat. 

He smoked through it too quickly. The stub flicked onto the ground and he turned promptly inside, relaxed enough to long for his bed. 

To his surprise, Steve was awake again. The quilt was draped over his shoulders, while he fiddled with the cheap furnace in the living room. 

“Steve- what are ya doin’?” He coughed a little of the smoke from his throat. “Issit not warm enough?”

Tiredly, Steve turned to him and frowned. “Stopped workin’. Heard it shut off, ‘nd I can’t get it back on….”

Sighing, Bucky shrugged off his coat and went over to the little corner of the room where the furnace was situated. Even though Steve had just been messing with it, he still tried it for himself. Neither of them was particularly good with fixing things like this- and the furnace was so new and crappy anyway, it was completely out of their depth. He grabbed a screwdriver and opened the thing up, hoping to get a better idea of what was going on from the inside. But, he didn’t know what it looked like working properly, so how would he know what it would look like broken?

“Buck,” Steve sighed next to him. “Jus’ forget ‘bout it. I’ll ask the landlord t’ check it out in the mornin’. C’mon, go to bed.”

“‘S real cold out there. This place is crap, ‘s gonna be freezing when we wake up. Don’t want ya gettin’ sick.” He flicked a few of the pipes in frustration, despite the painful sting it caused his fingernail.

Steve grabbed his wrist. “It’ll be fine. C’mon.” 

Together, they trudged back into the bedroom. Bucky tossed his shoes into their designated corner behind the door and closed the curtains shut tight, to keep the heat from escaping through the drafty window. He lit a few candles, propping them on the nightstand by Steve’s cot. They wouldn’t do much, but at least they were giving off some warmth and bathing the place in soft, buttery, yellow light. Steve settled back into bed, the quilt pulled up over his face and his body turned away from Bucky. 

He stripped off his shirt and climbed into his own cot on the other side of the room. His own thin blanket was enough to make him comfortable in just his briefs. Bucky tended to run a little hot anyway. 

Several minutes passed in silence. Bucky knew Steve wasn’t asleep, he could hear his uneven breathing and gentle shifting every few seconds. The room cooled quickly, and soon enough Bucky was reaching for his sleep pants on the ground. 

At the sound of Bucky moving around, Steve turned in his cot. His eyes, like blue fire flickering in the light of the candles, caught Bucky’s own. 

“Buck?” He murmured softly, voice rumbling in the silence. “You cold?”

“No, Stevie. Are you?” He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself and stared at the ceiling. 

“Yeah.” Came a small reply. Immediately, Bucky got up again and threw his thin blanket over Steve, tucking the end under his feet. He contemplated grabbing his abandoned shirt from the floor but left it, ignoring Steve’s protests. As he settled back in, he noticed Steve starting to get up. 

“Steve. Lay down. Go to sleep.” He pulled out his commanding voice, intentionally being short with Steve. The other didn’t listen, disentangling himself from the blankets and pulling himself out of his cot. “Goddamn it, Steve. Get your ass back in bed.” 

“‘M gettin’ water.” Steve snapped. “Shut your trap.” With both blankets curled around his little frame, he stomped out of the bedroom. 

Sighing, Bucky rubbed his hands over his face. The sounds of clinking glasses, a cabinet slamming, and the faucet squeaking on met his ears. A few minutes passed, longer than necessary to drink a glass of water. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and faced the wall, trying not to wait until Steve returned to fall asleep.

It didn’t work. Softly, quietly, Steve reentered the bedroom. Bucky pretended to be asleep when he felt his cot dip with a small weight behind him. 

“Bucky?” Steve’s hand touched his shoulder. Tentative. 

He groaned out a vaguely questioning noise. 

“‘S real cold. Can I-” Bucky heard him swallow. “‘N I sleep over here tonight?” 

They did that as kids. Before, when they’d stay the night and there wasn’t any kind of furnace to speak of. But once they hit puberty, and grew up, they realized it was inappropriate at that age. Eighteen and nineteen weren’t much better either, but here they were. Steve wanted to steal some of Bucky’s body heat- was he supposed to say no?

“‘Course ya can. C’mon, gimme some of those blankets.”

They shuffled, eventually figuring out how to get comfortable on the small cot. Steve lay on his side, facing the rest of the room with Bucky’s bare chest pressed into his equally bare back and both arms around him. The blankets barely fit around them and left Bucky’s feet exposed. He curled his legs up, wrapping them around Steve’s right leg to get them under the quilt. Steve’s skin was cold against his own, and he hated it. Hated how unfair it was. 

One of Steve’s shoulders brushed against his cheek, still so cold. Bucky exhaled onto it warmly, amusing himself when Steve shivered in response.  

“Quit it.” Steve warned. Bucky leaned in closer, tickling his skin with his lips and breathed out again. He smirked when Steve squirmed against him. His fingertips dug into Steve’s ribs, pulling him closer.

One of Steve’s hands gripped his forearm tightly, but didn’t shove his grip off. If anything, he was clinging to the hold around him. 

“Warmin’ up, Stevie?” He teased. The smaller man hummed out an affirmative noise. 

“I ain’t one ‘a your dames, Buck. Can’t tease me like that.”

_ Oh. That’s how it is?  _

He traced one of his fingers over Steve’s sternum and down his stomach, feeling the sparse beginnings of a happy trail there.

“Think if I can get ya to blush you’d get warm?”

“Bucky!” 

“Alright, alright, calm down. Try ‘nd sleep, okay?”

Steve huffed out a sigh instead of answering. He relaxed considerably into Bucky’s arms and scooched back to get closer. The backs of his thighs pressed flush to Bucky’s hips- just a solid, constant pressure. It felt nice, to have someone to sleep next to. None of his girls had ever cared enough to insist on cuddling after whatever fun they’d have, so they’d just let him leave. 

He dozed off, unable to fall into a deep sleep so quickly with another person’s presence so close. Just floating in between sleep and dull awareness. Steve’s body was warming up so quickly, with the body heat and covers to aid him. Reassured, Bucky sighed and nosed at the space in between Steve’s shoulder blades. Mind dim with sleep, he barely even registered his lips pressing to Steve’s skin in a mindless kiss.

Steve noticed. He prickled under the touch, tensing up in Bucky’s grip. 

“Did you just kiss me?” He asked incredulously, waking Bucky up fully from whatever remnants of sleep he had. 

He replayed it in his mind, realizing that was exactly what he’d just done. God, how queer was he? Not to mention careless, surely Steve would realize what this slip up really meant. Cautiously, he propped himself up on one elbow. 

“No.”

“Yes, you did.” Steve accused, turning to look at him. “You just kissed my back!”

“Don’t think anythin’ of it, Steve. I was half asleep. Thinkin’ you were Jane from my date couple nights back, remember her? Got confused, ‘s all.” He lied and tucked Steve back into his chest, hoping that would be enough to satiate him. 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Why you so insistent on it? You wantin’ me to have kissed ya?” He taunted, pinching a little at Steve’s side. The flesh under his fingers warmed and Steve didn’t respond. “Oh my god.”

Steve wormed away from Bucky, onto the very edge of the cot. “Shuddup! You’re the one that kissed me!”

“Wasn’t even a real kiss,” Bucky yanked Steve back before he rolled his ass off the bed. They were face to face again, blankets rucked up. Neither man could care about the cold. 

“Felt real to me.” Steve glared. 

“Not what I meant. I mean, it wasn’t like- it wasn’t a proper kiss. Like on the lips or anythin’.” 

There was a moment of awkward silence. Painfully awkward. Steve stared at Bucky’s lips, like he was challenging them to engage in a “proper kiss.” And Bucky was just noticing the flush that had taken over Steve’s skin, pink in the candlelight. 

“Why would you do that, Buck?” It wasn’t accusatory anymore, it was feigned curiosity. Like a parent trying to coax a guilty revelation out of a child that had been accidentally naughty. 

Bucky shrugged, trying to pretend like he didn’t know any better. “Told ya. I was half-asleep. Didn’t know what I was doin’.” He swallowed. 

Thick eyelashes framed heavy eyes, less like fire now. More like the ocean, expansive and looming and full of dangerous possibilities. 

“Y’know I’ve never been kissed before?” He murmured. His pretty lips barely moved with his confession. 

It was a fact, a simply true statement that didn’t take anyone by surprise. Not even his best friend. Sure, Bucky thought it was a damn crime that no one else had wanted to kiss the beauty that was Steve Rogers. But it wasn’t that shocking, given how much he’d always overshadowed his companion. 

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky responded simply. He couldn’t stop looking at Steve, all pale and small beneath him. Pink skin and yellow candlelight. Pretty as a picture.

“When we were kids…’nd everyone said your first should come from someone you love more than anyone…” Steve’s hand came up to tuck a strand of brown hair behind Bucky’s ear. “I thought that meant you’d be my first.”

There were no words. Bucky’d lost all semblance of coherency. 

“‘Course, then the nuns taught us ‘bout the sins of a man lyin’ with a man, and I realized I was bein’ silly.” He shook his head. “Didn’t know the difference between platonic love and romantic love.” 

“I still don’t.” Bucky found his voice suddenly. While they were confessing things, he might as well. “Sometimes I think of you...when I shouldn’t be. Wishin’ I was here with you, ‘stead of out with some dame.”

Steve smiled. It gave him the courage to keep going. 

“If ya want...I could be your first. ‘Cause my first kiss was pretty awful, but if ya want yours to come from someone who loves ya….” he trailed off, searching for some kind of indication from Steve. “I’d gladly kiss you.”

A smile still adorning those lips, Steve nodded. As easy as that, all Bucky had to do was ask. 

“Okay...lemme just-” There was a slight rearranging of limbs. Bucky slid himself completely over Steve, slotting their hips together and hooking his left arm under Steve’s shoulder. With the other hand, he pulled himself up so that their faces could touch with nothing more than a small stretch. “Good?” 

Again, Steve nodded, licking his plush lips in anticipation. So perfectly shaped and kissable. Bucky couldn’t help but trace his thumb over the bottom one in wonder. 

“Y’know I love ya, Stevie?” He stalled, wanting to make sure the other was okay with going through with the kiss. His hand came up to cup Steve’s cheek. 

Both of Steve’s skinny arms snaked around his waist. “Dunno why you’d put up with all of me and my issues if you didn’t.”  

Okay, maybe he had a point. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, he slowly leaned in. Steve was ready for it, letting his eyes close and parting his lips to accept whatever Bucky would give him. He let their mouths brush together, feather-like, before putting more pressure behind it. For a moment, he just stared half-lidded at Steve’s cheeks, watching them grow redder and redder before he surrendered and allowed his own lids to fall. And then they kissed, chastely. Similar to the kind Bucky had shared with girls after a first date. Not much movement, just feeling and carefully becoming accustomed to the sensations. It was over too soon, their lips disconnecting with that unique, muffled, “smack.”

Bucky looked at Steve, checking in. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the smooth skin of his cheek, waiting for the eye contact to be returned.

“How was that?” 

Steve’s breath huffed out, warm against Bucky’s face. His sweet, pink lips were parted with unashamed lust. 

“More.” 

It came out a whisper. Steve must not have been capable of anything more than that, or maybe in such close proximity, he found it unnecessary. A command, and one that Bucky was more than happy to obey.

He leaned back down, skipping the teasing floating of lips. No, this was a second date kiss- the one he might share in the car right before dropping off a giggly dame in her driveway. Tentative tongue and slick saliva, panting and groaning. And boy, did he groan. It was Steve, how could he not voice his relief after years of dreaming of those lips on his? Years of unrequited love brimming just below the surface? Years of unsatisfied urges and kisses with the wrong people?

Their tongues met, unsure of where to go exactly. It was such a first kiss, such a new experience, that neither of them was sure how the other was going to react. So, Bucky found himself drawing Steve in and begging for more with his lips. Letting him take the lead was best, at least at first. Cold hands threaded into his hair, gently but needily. 

He could feel Steve’s breath, hot against his cheek. And with each one, there was a small little sound, coming from deep in Steve’s throat. Pleased little noises. Like he was holding back moans- knowing Steve, it was probably out of embarrassment. 

Bucky let out another noise, higher pitched than he’d care to admit, to let Steve know that it was okay. And maybe because he’d been wanting to let out some sounds of his own. 

“Steve,” he breathed out. “I-” kiss, “-love you.” 

“Love you- can’t believe we’re doin’ this.” They paused, slowed down. “Can’t believe I’m kissin’ ya-”

“-finally.” Bucky agreed, diving back down to lay kisses over Steve’s abnormally sharp jawline. The other arched up into it, panting deeply. Their chests rolled together, and  _ their hips- _ Steve’s legs wrapped tight around his waist. He had no choice but to rut against his body while leaving searing reminders of himself on the previously pale skin of his neck. 

There was a hardness growing under his pajamas, undeniable. It only spurred him on, made him kiss Steve harder and faster, as though he’d get any relief from just kissing. Here he was, thinking with his dick yet again. But it felt so impossibly good, to have the best, most morally righteous person he’d ever met lying underneath him and looking so... _ sinful _ . The love of his short life, letting out half-formed moans and pleas for more. 

Yeah, his dick had quite a few thoughts about that. 

Eventually, after the kisses returned to lips and became sloppy and maybe a little desperate, it was reciprocated. Steve’s little body had enough blood to spare for an erection of his own, all tucked up and sliding next to Bucky’s own. 

“Bucky,” Steve panted out reverently. “Bucky, Bucky,  _ Bucky-” _

His name turned into a moan of relief when he ground down harder, his solid weight creating electricity at the points of contact. Their cocks slid together so hard it almost hurt, but the little wail Steve let out into Bucky’s mouth was anything but pained. 

“‘M gonna- Buck, you gotta do somethin’, please…” 

He knew exactly what Steve needed, because that was what the fire tingling up his spine told him that  _ he  _ needed. Balancing rather precariously on his left hand, Bucky shoved the elastic waistband of his pants over his aching length. The cold of the air did nothing to scare away his hardness- because all he could think about was Steve’s eyes, so dark they looked almost black in the candlelight of their bedroom, trained lustfully on his cock. Modesty threw itself out the window with his need, and he immediately massaged himself without rhythm to gain some relief. 

“C’mon, lemme see ya, pull those down,” he breathed into Steve’s open mouth, their kiss forgotten. Slowly, he reached down and wriggled around under Bucky, exposing his own nakedness for Bucky’s eyes to feast upon. 

His skin was yellowed under the candlelight, except for the pink flushed length perched between his legs. There was a dark smattering of hair right above the base, but nowhere else. And the flared head, with a ridge that Bucky would just love to trace his tongue under, was pretty and pink and all-American. He had to get his hands on it. 

Without another thought, he smacked his hips back down to get them aligned once more. Steve’s breath hitched when Bucky shoved his fingers in between his stomach and cock to pick it up alongside his own. With both of their lengths in his hand, he was able to both jerk Steve off and fuck up into his own palm and thumb. Pleasure immediately surged up his body, forcing a small cry from his lips. 

It was easy, then, to really let go of himself and his inhibitions. Bucky moved faster, his left shoulder starting to ache with the force of holding himself up but he couldn’t care because it felt  _ so damn good _ to be nestled in between Steve’s legs. And there was the way Steve was moving too, writhing around and grabbing on to Bucky’s flexed arm like it was an anchor that he needed to make sure he didn’t float away with it. There were the shocked little sounds punching their way out of both of their guts, whimpers and grunts and moans. It was so unlike anything Bucky had experienced with a girl- so much better, he thought. 

His hand worked furiously between them, even faster once he felt himself creeping towards the edge. Every second of the build-up, Bucky kept his eyes trained on Steve’s lips and eyes, searching for god-knows-what. But that was what would do him in: Steve’s eyes flitting up to meet his own and his lips opening up in a strangled moan. Suddenly, everything crashed. 

Bucky peaked, feeling the white-hot rush of release wash over him in waves. He couldn’t help but moan out wantonly on every exhale, gasping for breath in between. Come shot out in ropes from his pulsing length, slicking the way for his hand around both of their cocks. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut involuntarily and his supporting arm shook with exhaustion. About halfway through, he was dimly aware of Steve’s own cries of release meeting his ears. More come joined the sticky puddle clinging to their skin.

As Bucky stroked them both slowly through the shuddering aftershocks, he had his first coherent thought since the orgasm:  _ Don’t fall onto Steve and crush him. _ Bonelessly and finally sated, he flopped into the small space between Steve’s body and the wall and cradled his softening cock in his hand. It was a habit of his, since he liked the underlying sensitivity and protectiveness he felt after. 

Immediately, Steve pulled their blankets back over them where they had slipped off throughout their excursion. His little body scooched right up to Bucky’s, giving him the perfect opportunity to kiss at his neck and collarbones lazily. The first of many opportunities, he hoped.

“Stevie,” he whispered weakly. “I love you.”

The tops of the blankets tickled at his cheek, slightly obscuring his vision. He wasn’t sure if Steve smiled at that, but he wanted to believe that he had seen it.

“Love you, Buck.”

For a moment, Bucky didn’t mind their crappy furnace giving out on them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Comments and feedback much appreciated <3


End file.
